Cougars

Wikipedia describes the term “cougar” as it has been used to describe the relationship between an older woman and a younger man, as follows:

Cougar – an older woman who sexually pursues men at least 8 years their junior. The term has been used in (American) TV series, advertising and film. The 2007 film Cougar Club was dedicated to the subject.

I can’t remember what movie where I first heard the term. I have found it a pretty humorous terminology. Usually the women depicted in movies or tv shows seem to be young looking and rich, and rather on the prowl. Somehow you mentally see them putting out their claws.

I have to confess that I have been attracted to several younger men, and felt conflicted about it. But I don’t think I’m really what is meant by the term cougar. (Not being rich or beautiful.)

When I was about 30 I went out (twice) with a younger guy who was probably around 24 or so. He kept telling me about how he liked older women. As I didn’t really feel like an “older woman,” even though I was older than him, I found it pretty laughable. He kept saying that older women know what they want. I didn’t try to explain to him that I had no idea what I wanted. I don’t know, maybe I have some idea “what I want” now.

I can remember being attracted to a few older men. Not very many. One of them actually married a woman who was even younger than me. It seemed a good match, she being a mature for her age sort of person.

I wouldn’t describe myself that way. That’s why I think that my being attracted to younger men is not such a stretch, since in some ways I suppose might have the maturity of a 13 year old! (But, I certainly wouldn’t want to go back that far to find a fellow!) I suppose I need to grow up (how ever you do that). Maturity, what exactly does that look like?

I havent’ been “sexually pursuing” anyone, by the way. Or even dating. So, this is mostly an academic discussion.

A footnote in the wikipedia article lead me to another discussion of the subject. It pointed out the difficulty caused by an older woman’s inability to have children. A woman quoted in that article advocated allowing or sending the guy out to find a younger woman to have children with. I don’t know how that would work, but so many people today seem to be okay with having short term sexual partnerships.

The wikipedia article also said that the rule of thumb for socially acceptable age disparate relationships is half your age, plus seven years.